To Love You From The Inside Out

Bold. Courageous. Confident.

Of all the things that should describe a Christian, I think those are the ones I struggle with most. But I know that the more I rely on Him, the more I will love Him, work for Him, and find the strength to put my faith in Him. I think what's helped the most so far has been really understanding that I'm not on a "performance treadmill", I'm not conquering the mountain that is Sin; God always deals with his children through the Grace we receive in Christ, the Liberating King. Brett and I have been fasting to remind us to rely on God for real sustenance for almost a week now. For me, just having my lunch hour devoted to Him really stands as a huge contrast to the worthless internet surfing or whatever else I would normally do after eating at school. One result of this has been a deeper experience of real joy. Not temporal happiness, but an everlasting thankfulness and unyielding faith in Christ's abilities to shepard and lead me. He is truly awesome.

Greater Things are still to be done in this City

You're the God of this City

You're the King of these people

You're the Lord of this nation

You are...

On our Friday adventure, Rebecca challenged me to explain just why I fell away from unity in Christ for so long. I didn't really have an answer other than the things we had already talked about, but now I think those thoughts have been synthesized into a much better answer. Much like how predestination doesn't detract from God's glory with regards to our sinful nature, I think that though being unified with Christ does bring God glory, God will allow us to be in sin if those experiences and trials can ultimately be used as a story of redemption and bring Him glory. In my case, I believe His call requires that I use the ways I felt rejected, alone and passive to connect with others, and help prevent them from going down the same paths I took. I talked about this same thing in my last post, and the more I'm involved in this community, the more I feel that it is His call in my life. I'm beginning to see more how I can apply it to my relationships with other people both inside and outside Echo. This community will be powerful if we trust God even just a little bit. My prayers have been focusing on asking God to move in this church, and create in us a great desire and love for Him. Brett and I have had quite a few conversations expressing our belief that our community has great things ahead of it, and the Chris Tomlin song above really does fit Austin (Tomlin wrote it while at Austin Stone). For now, I want my studies in the Word to focus on developing my knowledge of stories that I can use to relate to others. I don't want my fears to be a cop-out of God's calling though. The appropriate level of that fear/knowledge trade-off is something I'll have to seek guidance on and pray about. For now, I need to go to bed so that I can get back to getting up early and giving my time to Him that strengthens me.